


Dear Zack, I Love You

by pika_1024



Category: Original Work
Genre: Diary/Journal, Dystopia, F/M, Romance, Unrequited Crush, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-15
Updated: 2018-10-03
Packaged: 2019-05-07 05:19:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 1,558
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14664126
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pika_1024/pseuds/pika_1024
Summary: Lyra is a girl who has a crush on Zack, a boy she had met a long while ago. Now, she's getting ready to face some pretty big things, like the Academy, who hunt people down if they are not smart enough. But Zack has no idea.





	1. 5/11/20XX

05/11/20XX

 

Dear Zack,

 

Hello. I honestly don’t know why I’m writing this, but they told me it could be therapeutic. Anyways, you’ll never find out I wrote to you, because I will always keep this inside a secret compartment in my house. It’s not a diary, but it is at the same time. You probably will never know I existed, but, one can dream. So, let me introduce myself to you. My name is Lyra. You have probably seen me around, right? We used to be friends when we were younger… but I don’t blame you for forgetting me. After all, you started getting closer with Em, and everyone knows she’s better than me. Anyways, let me explain why I am writing this. I like you, a lot. And not just the “wow you're cute” type, but I really like you. I just thought that maybe I could write this, and that confessing to a paper would be easier than confessing to you. Directly. Just thinking about it gives me the shivers. I just thought that maybe doing this would help me get over you. I distanced myself a lot from you the past two years, and I think that was the best thing for both of us. I also just drowned myself with work, because I know that work will distract me from these meaningless emotions. God, sometimes I wish I had the balls to just pick up a dating app. But… I’m not the best looking. There’s always someone who looks way better than me. Genetics weren't exactly the kindest to me. I mean, yeah, my friends will tell me I’m cute and all, but I just can’t believe them. I’m ugly, big deal, right? And besides, when we were close, you had already told me who you liked. I guess that’s why I wanted to push you away. They say that if something truly loves you, it will come back, but you never did. This year has just been so hard, but you learn to deal with it. The biggest blow, aside from Em trying to slide down your pants, this year was that my favorite teacher is leaving. Mr. Brown, the world history teacher. Remember him? I don’t think you do, but he and I developed a much closer bond this year. He doesn’t know that I know he’s leaving, but this other teacher that’s leaving, Ms. Miller, said to the entire class that they were interviewing for a new teacher for that position. I cried the second she said that. I really grew attached to Brown, but I know that being in the Academy was holding him back. Miller is a good teacher too, but we never had that bond, even when she did take us on a three day camping trip. I guess this year wasn’t my year. I mean, it’s never my year.

 

I was looking outside just now. The leaves look so nice, don’t you think? The moon makes them look really nice. Oh! You probably will remember this about me, I’m known in the school for it, but I’m obsessed with space. Like, not just your average “wowzer” facts, but I just really like space! Mr. Hall, my English teacher, calls me the girl from another planet. I find him so cool, even if he did scare me my freshman year. Next year you have him will be great. You’ll love him for sure. I’m at odds, will I choose the higher level English course next year? I’m not sure.

 

Wow, that really did help. Maybe I should write to you more often.

 

Always yours, even if you never know it,

Lyra


	2. 5/23/20XX

5/23/20XX

 

Dear Zack,

 

They’re finally over. Exams. Are. Over.

I feel like I failed History and Computer Science, what about you? Well, you only had CS freshman year, along with me. I chose to go for the more difficult class this year, big mistake. So, how have you been? Good, I suppose? I can’t say the same for me. Half of my classes now are reduced to movies and unnecessary work. That and I’m perpetually scared about the possible odds of the world and how I alter them, but that’s nothing to worry about, right? Anyway, it’s getting closer to the end of the year. I’m particularly split on the issue. On one hand, I get to go to school over the summer, the Academy on steroids, and I get a computer, but I don’t get free time. It’s for the better, don’t you think? That way I can meet new people, hopefully someone that will get you off my mind. You’re probably wondering what the Academy on Steroids is. The organization name is Affiliation of SuperIntelectuals, or AoS for short. AKA, Academy on steroids. They only choose about 50 students per section of the country, so about 150 students total, all booking it to the University of Southern Bexley. Everyone in town dreams of going there, and I get to go there for the summer and get free stuff! I wish you had applied though, you would have fit right in. There's a reason you were accepted to the Academy, and you’re wasting your potential, you know? Anyway, I wonder how you did on your exams? You seem to have studied enough, right? I didn’t study for my placement exam, hopefully I don’t end up like Jun Soo-Jin Damon. Ah, it was a while ago anyway. She disappeared three days after her placement in basic math after getting into AoS. He parents are spending so much to find her, but we all know what happened. Maybe that’s why you didn’t apply… I’m putting my life on the line, hopefully it’s all worth it, right? Hopefully.

 

Maybe, if I do go missing ever, this can serve to ease people.

It’s not like I’ve never not considered it.

 

That’s for another time, I guess.

 

Until then.

Loving you from afar,

Lyra

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you enjoyed!


	3. Chapter 3: 6/20/20XX

6/20/20XX

Dear Zack, 

I'm scared. I've spent three days at AoS and I feel like things might end up worse. We have two professors, math, and English ones, but I feel like I'm on track to disappear. Honestly, I feel like I'll place basic as well. I'm scared. Zack, I'm terrified. I want to go home. I just keep thinking of not actually being able to see my family again or maybe not being able to see you again and that scares the hell out of me. What if I do disappear? I wonder, how are you doing? I uh... did ask you to play a carnival game this year, but you blew me off. Funny, my heart broke a little again. I feel so empty though, so many people left me this year. My upperclassmen friends left, my favorite teachers left, it's not like I need you to leave. Maybe no one will notice if I do get to leave. I wonder what they do to failures? We live our entire lives being tested and being manipulated into thinking that if we are not good enough we won't be able to live, but how true is that really? My neighbors have an Intelectual rating of 78, not that high as many, but that still lets Mr. Nakashi have his job at the fast food place, and his wife still has a cashier job in the amusement park. My parents have an IR of 63, and they're doing okay. I know we're not supposed to take them until we're like 25 or something, but I took an IR test, the one they released on the government website, and I got a 109, and I saw that I could get a couple of office jobs just like that, but I signed a contract. Maybe I should have read the fucking fine print, right? I kept a copy, and the minimum IR score is 178, and I'm waaaaay off of that. I don't think I can do it. 

 

Remember me, 

Lyra


	4. 09/16/20xx

Dear Zack 

Fuck. I'm going to throw myself away if I keep acting like this  
I. I shouldn't have talked to you again. I shouldn't have confessed I shouldn't have had high hopes I shouln't have listened I shouldn't have **I shouldn't have I sh** ouldn't have I shouldn't have I shouldn't have. 

i just wanted to see if I had a chance. 

I don't. 

It hurts so much. Why do I do this to myself?! 

It was my fault, I shouldn't have fucking done this. I was so distracted when I did it. I wasn't careful. 

I don't think my score suffered. We had a test that day. 

They were right. The academy was right. Emotions are useless. Maybe I can ask them to remove mine. They actually can, with this weird drug they have. They say it clears your mind and allows you to think better in the test.   
They don't give it out freely, only to those in emotional distress. I got called out and asked if I wanted it. I declined, but I'm not sure. 

You know, I think I like this version of you better. The one in my book I guess. You... you have no choice but to stay with me. It's a weird thought, yeah, but it's comforting for me. 

blue and broken hearted, 

lyra

**Author's Note:**

> Um, Hi! My name is Stephy and this is my first story here! I'm still pretty new to writing and hopefully I can improve later! I have this same story on my quotev (No I am not an impersonator!) and hopefully I can update often. I hope you have fun reading!


End file.
